Please Stop Saying, This Too Shall Pass
Family and friends only want to help. They try to be as encouraging as possible and we’re thankful for that. However, when we’re going through something, we’re going through it. Please allow us to be in the moment, to process what we’re going through without soliciting scripture or affirmations.
“Just pray on it.”
“God don’t put nothing on you that you can’t bear.”
Family members especially will give you examples of people that have it worse. “Don’t you think Vanessa wants Kobe and her daughter back?” We’re more than certain that Vanessa Bryant wants her Gianna and Kobe back. “Those people in UKRAINE, they had to leave everything.” Yes, we know that many people in Ukraine were forced to leave their homes. “Those parents of those kids that died in that school massacre (insert an American school).” We know and cry for those kids and their families that were affected by the school shooting.
Friends and family members will go on and on about other people. What they’re actually doing is negating our feelings. According to them, what we’re feeling is nothing compared to someone that has it worse.
We process what they’re saying and they’re right, people do have situations that are a lot worse. We take a deep breath, hang up the phone, and within minutes. The affirmation officiant strikes again with a text.
This too shall pass. Keep your head up.
WE KNOW THIS TOO SHALL PASS! WE KNOW THIS, but right now, at this moment it hasn’t passed We’re in it! We’re trying to process what happened!
Advice For Family & Friends
Our family and friends have our best interests at heart, but sometimes they get it wrong and when they get it wrong they rub us the wrong way. Maybe they’re unaware of how to approach us when it comes to certain situations. One way to avoid confusion is by having a conversation when we’re not going through a storm. They need a little preface, beforehand, background and understanding of how to handle us:
‘Look, I appreciate you more than you know, but I’m not trying to hear your little…”
Stop! We know good and doggon well that using words like; look, but, and little can come across as negative. OK, let’s try to get our point across in a different, more positive way.
“When I’m venting, the only thing that I really need from you, are your ears. I need you to listen. No unsolicited advice, no words of wisdom, no affirmations, just listen.”
We have to show and tell people how to treat us. Often times we assume that they know, but they don’t. We need our loved ones to be there for us, not preaching to us. In addition, we need to take our own advice when they’re going through it. Be quiet. Listen. And just be there…because this too shall pass.