Period In Your 40s
She Has A New Agenda
The relationship between a woman and her period is complex and often exhausting — a routine that many of us know all too well. When I was younger I was never good at keeping up with my period until it was too late. The stained outfits and embarrassing moments plagued my tweens, teens, and even adulthood…then something miraculous was created — the period app.
The period app is a girl's best friend, it notifies you of important things like when you’re ovulating and the best time to get it on in case you’re trying to conceive. My favorite notification from the app says: Time to get comfy and cozy your period is coming in two days. Do you feel it? How genius is that? The best perk of the period app is that my period no longer embarrassed me. I was prepared. I was in control or so I thought.
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, let me tell you something about having your period in your 40s, it’s a physiological thriller. I’m not being dramatic either, the b**ch tried to destroy me. I thought that her plots and schemes were over in my early 20s! Oh no! The period app was her distraction. She made me believe that I finally had it all together.
Admittedly, I was ignorant and I assumed that my period was gonna kind of dry up in my 40s. I wasn’t thinking at all. Women can have babies in their 4os duh!
“Are your periods normal?” My doctor asked during my annual physical in my early 40s.
“Yes, I confidentially said wiggling on the examination table like a kid. The paper crackled as I moved. For the most part, my periods were normal. I mean some days my period played her old tricks on me like showing up a day or two earlier. One time I sneezed and I was like I just know that isn’t — and it was. I didn’t think too much about it. Periods can be off, I said to myself. She took notes and asked if my flow was heavy.
“No, they’re normal.”
She switched subjects and informed me that my iron levels were low. I pretty much figured that since I was an ice whore. I crunched on ice every chance I could. I even became an ice expert; nuggets, cubes, crushed, but shaved ice was the best. My mother used to eat ice all the time. She told me whenever her iron was low she craved ice.
I told the doctor about my ice addiction and she told me to get some iron pills from the pharmacist. She also told me that I may be experiencing perimenopause.
“Peri-WHAT?”
My doctor told me to follow up with my gynecologists' just to make sure I didn't have fibroids. Fibroids? I remember the internal conversation I was having with myself. My doctor was trying to find something wrong with me. Iron pills will be taken, but all that other stuff like…whatever!
A month later I woke up before sunrise. When I stood up I couldn’t believe what happened next, the heaviest flow slowly gushed down my legs. My flow was so heavy that it left a trail from my bed to the bathroom.
You know doctors are called doctors for a reason. As I freshed up I tried to recall what my doctor told me from our last visit. I went on the doctor’s portal to read my notes. I followed up with my gynecologist and what do you know I had fibroids!
According to my gynecologist and stuff I found on Google, fibroids are tumors made of smooth muscle cells and fibrous connective tissue. They develop in the uterus. It is estimated that 70 to 80 percent of women will develop fibroids in their lifetime — however, not everyone will develop symptoms or require treatment.
My fibroid wasn’t big therefore, I didn’t move forward with any treatment. My follow-up appointment a year later indicated that my fibroid didn’t grow. At this time annual pap smears weren’t required unless you had a history of reproductive issues. Life carried on.
The joke in the family was that I was always on my period. I would remind them that another month just passed by.
For years I had back issues. I went to the chiropractor, and massage specialists. I did pilates and even had my boys stand on my back. I told my doctor about this. She never said that my back aches could be related to fibroids. Life carried on.
The last two years have been dreadful. My energy was low. I thought I was going through perimenopause. Not to mention I caught COVID and was let go from my new job. I was unemployed. Stressed. No insurance and rejection for so many jobs that I applied to.
After securing a new position, I immediately made an appointment with my doctor and gynecologist. I had a vaginal ultrasound. Years ago when they discovered that I had a fibroid I remember the ultrasound taking less than 5 minutes. The last vaginal ultrasound lasted for over 15 minutes. I told the technician that I knew that I was not crazy. She told me that she was surprised I lasted this long. She wasn’t at liberty to say anything else.
My OBGYN told me that my fibroids, plural had grown and that I had an enlarged uterus. She recommended a hysterectomy. I continued to complain about my back. This would’ve been a great opportunity for her to say that my fibroids potentially were affecting my back. She also said I had polyps. I asked if those polyps turned into anything. She said they could turn into cancer. She sent me downstairs for X-rays which showed that I did have back issues.
“What do you want to treat first?” she asked.
Initially, I said my back because my back was hurting. I prepared for physical therapy, but then I heard that technician's voice, I’m surprised you lasted this long. I also heard my mother’s voice, “Have the surgery.”
I kept thinking of my symptoms over the years, especially last year. COVID, losing my job, all those interviews I did, applying to jobs, emptying my savings to survive, mixed in with stress. Was it my fibroids all this time? Although annual pap smears weren’t required, I felt like they should’ve been because I had a fibroid. Not only did that fibroid grow, but so did my uterus.
My hysterectomy is scheduled soon. I’m nervous but excited. I want my life back. I want energy. I want to make plans. I want a social life. If I could deal with my period all these years then bring on the hot flashes.
There are benefits to social media. More women are talking about perimenopause, periods, menopause, and fibroids. They’re educating and offering tips on how to live with these conditions. The physical stuff that women go through is simply intriguing. How do we do it?
The biggest lesson I took from this chapter of my life is that I wasn’t as informed as I should have been — if I had been, I would have advocated for myself more. Listen to your body, recognize the changes, and get the help you need sooner than later.
